Longer Version of my Story
and why I am seeking support now
through Go Fund Me
Dear Friends and Supporters,
I have kept this story private in the last two years, for it affected my very identity as a dancer and embodied being, but in sharing my story with you all, it is healing too. And hopefully there is something that readers will learn from my story about how our insurance system needs to expand to better support alternative and complementary treatments to diseases that work. So I thank you in advance for reading my story, and sharing in my journey for just a moment in your busy lives...
In the early to mid-2014, I was involved in 2 car accidents over the course of 5 months, where I was hit from behind each time. I had limited PT and chiropractic care for my acute symptoms through my car insurance, but not enough for the ongoing treatment needed.
In the summer of 2014 unbeknownst to me I contracted toxoplasmosis which slowly and insidiously began to cause an acute chemical depression in my brain. I fought the depression with all my tools, unaware that it was caused by a toxin causing chemical changes in my body.
In October 2014, I found a tiny dot which I thought was dirt, but later turned out to be a Lyme tick. The Lyme infection entered every organ system of my body very quickly. I did not know what was happening to me at first and thought at times I was dying. The Lyme bugs had entered my heart, and I often had excessive bouts of painful heart palpitations. The Lyme had also entered my gut, my joints (had to wear braces on my wrists, and my knees hurt constantly), and infiltrated my brain, already weakened by toxoplasmosis. In December of 2014, with high fevers, anxiety, mental confusion, depression, heart palpitations, and gut pain, I was at my wits end, but was finally able to get tests with an integrated medicine doctor and found out that I had Lyme disease, 3 co- occurring infections, toxoplasmosis, parasites in my gut, as well as high levels of radon and mercury in my system.
Because of my history of extreme sensitivity to environmental toxins, I was not able to take antibiotics, and I was directed to a world renowned homeopath, Dr. Nader Soliman, MD., of Rockville, MD to help me heal the Lyme through Homeopathy. From January - May 2015, my journey of healing through homeopathy began in earnest, and it was exhausting and transformational, as homeopathy brings up the painful symptoms in the body for the body to fight off and transmute. This process was truly miraculous, as painful and scary symptoms would emerge, and then leave, organ system by organ system, and my body would reach new levels of health.
While I was healing at this level, I could only work 3 days a week in my field, because of the intensity of the healing process. Because of the many problems I had in my system, I had to take 25 homeopathic tinctures 3 times a day for 3 months, then get rechecked. The quality of the homeopathics was a high clinical grade, and thus expensive. I also had to take specific immune fortifying supplements to help my immune system stay strong during the process which were also expensive. Neither the homeopathics nor the supplements were covered by my health insurance plan. I also had to see the cardiologist and the integrated medical doctor often for tests, due to my symptoms, and thus my co-pays began adding up into the mix. I began to improve by May 2015, but in July, I had an autonomic nervous system breakdown with fainting episodes at work and at home, and problems with blurred vision, and immune problems resurfaced, all related to the toll the Lyme disease process had taken on my body.
I worked with Doctor Soliman in July and August 2015 to heal the autonomic nervous system, and because I had more energy and health, took on more dance therapy group work in late July and August to help pay bills. By the end of August, I felt so much stronger in my life force and much more positive in my outlook, and I set forward ready and optimistic to pay off the credit card debt from my health bills, and grateful to be healthy. However, in early September I suffered a back injury, located in my sacrum and SI joint, that was traced to the cumulative effect of the car accidents, all the stress that my body had been through to heal the Lyme and my increased dance therapy workload.
My vigorous physical work as a dance therapist with elders with dementia and Alzheimer’s in psychiatric institutions and nursing homes, depended on the health of my back, but I had no short term disability support. So, I had to keep working while trying to heal my injury, but had to drop the new work I had taken on to pay my medically related bills, due to this back injury. I began PT, which was not fully covered by my insurance. However, as I continued to work in a more limited way at the hospital doing dance therapy with elders, thinking it would be a short time until I was back to my full capacity, my back condition worsened. An MRI was taken, and disc degeneration combined with hyper mobility in the hips identified. The osteopath suggested I get chiropractic work done and massage in addition to PT, and also advised me never ride a horse again, that hiking would be challenging, and that my work itself was in question, and hurting my possibilities for recovery. My medical bills continued to mount due to chiropractic care, and massage which was not covered by my insurance. Over the course of the winter 2016, I was forced to admit that my back condition had become chronic, that my dance movement therapy career was being challenged greatly, and I began to look at the possibility that I needed to leave my job if I ever wanted to become strong again.
So, in late April 2016, I took a full time job in a telephonic environment, believing from the interview process, and inside workers, that I could be placed on the behavioral health track quickly and gain supervision toward my LPC, while giving my back a break and continuing my therapy work in a new realm. However, once in the telephonic environment, I began experiencing constant headaches, eye tearing and face pain from the 8:30 to 5:00 pm weekly exposure to dual computer screens. In addition, I learned that the behavioral health track did not provide therapy to clients, that it's main goal was to help people navigate their insurance claims and benefits in a therapeutic way, so I would not be utilizing and advancing my behavioral health skills on the job, which was why I took the job.
So, as of June 13th, I have had to leave the job, am now without a job and actively now searching for work. This unexpected break from work is allowing my back to continue to heal, and it is much better. It is also giving me a moment, to envision how I can continue to use my skills a dance movement therapist in a gentler way, as a process therapist; integrating breathing and mindfulness and gentle movement into the group process, while giving me an opportunity to expand my teaching, workshops and private practice.
Having this moment to heal, and not be in a constant state of pain, has allowed me to better see my possibilities. I have sent out many applications for therapy positions, and done much networking in support of this vision in the last two weeks, and have great leads, and lots of positive interest in my teacher training curriculum, but no job at the moment. Your help at this critical moment, would be such a gift to me.
As I am creating this bright future out of the ashes of the old, one that will be easier on my body, and one that involves much more actively sharing my gifts with the world as a teacher, I am facing a huge amount of debt and no income at the moment, while I make this shift. The debt I have accrued over the last 2 years from medical bills and reduced ability to work due to Lyme, and car accidents is now $16,000.
It is a vulnerable moment for me right now, one that I never did expect to be in. As I write this, I remember waking up from a nightmare, soon after I was bitten by the Lyme tick in October 2014, and going to the bathroom to splash water on my face, only to see a large vulture sitting on the roof outside my bathroom window staring into my window. It was terrifying at first. The vulture stayed on that perch off and on for 2 days, before leaving. I researched the symbolic meaning of this bird in indigenous cultures, and it was purification. Looking back, I realize that from that moment after being bitten by the Lyme tick, I had entered a path of great purification. Facing some of my darkest hours when feeling completely out of control, and having to utterly surrender to the healing process of my body, and let go of plans and dreams I had at that time was life shaking. During this time, not just my body was going through a healing purification, but also my thought processes, my emotional patterns and my very identity was changing. I released many toxic thinking patterns that needed to go, and really learned to listen to and care for my body, my heart and my soul.
I have been keeping a journal of this time, and have the sense that out of this journey a story will emerge and perhaps a workshop too, to help others to deeply honor their bodies' wisdom as they walk the healing path, and advocate for expanded affordable health insurance coverage to include homeopathy and more individualized complimentary medicine treatment for Lyme, environmental toxins and accident recovery.
My friends who encouraged me to do this, told me to tell my story and ask for help. While this is very humbling, I am also aware of the immense gratitude I am feeling that this opportunity even exists. I want you to know that each one of you will become a personal angel to me, one to whom I will forever be grateful to. Each gift you give, no matter what size, will help me on the path to resolving my medical debt and will help greatly in this time of transition and healing.
I want to continue to serve the world in a greater capacity with my teaching and healing work. I know I am here for a purpose to help others, and that the skills I have developed as a dance movement therapist are a big part of that, as I now find new ways to apply and expand them. This purpose hums brightly in my heart while I write this, and hopefully my story will help others on their path of healing as well. With your help, support and generosity, I continue to do so.
With infinite gratitude and many blessings to you from the bottom of my heart.
Love, Emily
